When Faith and Family Collide: Becoming Peaceful Parents When Your Child Walks Away from What You Taught
By Rob Jackson, Founder and Lead Coach, Icebergology™ Coaching Academy
Every parent wants good things for their child.
When that child grows up and makes choices that don’t align with your faith, the ache runs deep.
Many Christian parents I meet begin with a simple, heartfelt hope:
“I just want my son or daughter to come back to truth.”
That desire is understandable — even holy. But in the early stages, it often carries a quiet assumption:
If only my child would change, everything would be okay.
The reality is that God usually begins His healing somewhere else first — inside the heart of the parent.
When the Focus Needs to Shift
Our first instinct is to fix what feels broken — to rescue, correct, convince, or even plead.
But peace rarely starts with persuasion. It begins with surrender.
Parents who come to the Peaceful Parents Intensive often discover that the work isn’t about “changing” their child. It’s about allowing God to change them.
That’s not blame — it’s invitation.
God meets you where you are, in your grief, confusion, or fear, and teaches you to rest in His love rather than in visible results.
From that posture, conversations soften, fear loosens its grip, and compassion begins to grow again.
When Love and Conviction Feel Like Opposites
Our culture often claims that you must choose between love and biblical conviction.
But Jesus never made that demand.
He held truth and grace in perfect harmony — calling people to repentance while drawing them near with compassion.
Parents can learn to do the same.
In the Peaceful Parents Intensive, we explore how to:
-
Love your son or daughter without compromising Scripture.
-
Communicate without defensiveness or despair.
-
Trust God’s process when your child’s story doesn’t look finished.
This doesn’t mean affirming what you don’t believe or ignoring what Scripture says.
It means anchoring yourself in Christ so that your child encounters Him through your peace, not your panic.
When Truth Feels Negotiable
Today’s culture often teaches that truth is personal — my truth versus your truth.
That sounds freeing, but in practice it leaves everyone unanchored.
If truth shifts with emotion or circumstance, peace can never last.
As Christian parents, you believe that truth isn’t invented; it’s revealed — not a feeling to be followed but a foundation to be trusted.
That conviction can make you feel out of step with your child or even labeled as judgmental.
But in reality, your faith in God’s unchanging truth is an act of love.
You believe His ways lead to life, even when culture says otherwise.
The Peaceful Parents Intensive helps you hold that conviction without turning it into a weapon.
You’ll learn to communicate truth in ways your child can hear — with patience, gentleness, and humility — because peace never requires surrendering what’s true, only surrendering control of the outcome.
When Your Child Joins the Process
About half of the families I work with eventually include their child — sometimes for a single conversation, sometimes for a few guided sessions.
These moments are not about debate or persuasion.
They are opportunities to practice listening, empathy, and love that doesn’t waver.
But whether your child participates or not, the focus remains the same: you.
As you become peaceful, your presence becomes safer — and that safety becomes sacred ground where God can work.
Peace Doesn’t Mean Agreement
Peace doesn’t depend on your child’s choices.It comes from knowing that your faith, your family, and your future rest in God’s capable hands.
When you release the need to control, you make space for God to move.
And as He transforms you, He also prepares your child — sometimes quietly, sometimes slowly, but always purposefully.
A Path Forward
If you’re weary from trying to hold your family together, I invite you to consider the Peaceful Parents Intensive — a four-day, private, Christ-centered experience designed to help Christian mothers and fathers rediscover peace with God, unity with each other, and compassion toward their LGBT-identified sons and daughters.