Protecting the Eyes of the Church - Southgate Baptist Church 3/5/17 (Transcript)
Pastor: [00:00:00] Well, good morning. We're glad you're all here today. Uh, I say that almost every Sunday. I think. I'm always glad that you're here and probably even more so that, uh, we sent out information about kind of what we're gonna be talking about today and you came anyways. So thanks for coming. It's been a, a great weekend.
We had our pastor, elder and deacon retreat. Uh, Friday night we went away to the Hope Hotel in Dayton, near the Wright Patterson Air Force Base. And, uh, we spent, uh, the day most of the elders and deacons spent the day fasting and praying. And then we started off our meeting together in prayer, individually and corporately, and then we ate.
And that was a glorious moment that evening. And then, uh, we did some team building. We talked about our congregational care ministry. [00:01:00] We spent some time in prayer. And then on Saturday for probably five sessions, five hours, uh, we had Rob Jackson teaching us about how we as a church can proactively build support structures to help our people and support our people.
As it relates to this issue of pornography and sexual purity, sexual addiction, there's not a real good way to start off this topic. There's not a real funny joke that I can tell you to make you all laugh and put you at ease, but we don't want it to be so heavy that it's overwhelming because the grace of God is powerful.
The cross of Christ is powerful. And he can break every chain that is binding us down. And so what we're gonna do today is, is a couple of things. One, I'm gonna [00:02:00] have an interview with Rob. I'm gonna have him come up here in a couple of minutes. He's gonna introduce himself to you. We're gonna work through a series of questions.
We've kind of crafted the questions ahead of time so that we can be intentional with the material that, that we cover with all of you. He's gonna share a, a brief devotion from Romans seven and Romans chapter eight, and then we're gonna ask you to respond to what we're doing today.
And I'm gonna explain more of that in just a minute, but I want you to think about some of these statistics that you see on the screen. Psalm 1 0 1, verse three says, I will set before my eyes. I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless, and that's kind of our theme verse for the weekend.
And I want you to consider these statistics as we go into our time together. Porn sites receive more regular traffic monthly than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined. [00:03:00] 35% of all internet downloads are porn related. 34% of internet users have been exposed to unwanted porn via popup ads.
At least 30% of all data transferred across the internet is porn related. Child porn is a $3 billion industry, and globally porn is a $97 billion industry with 12 billion of that coming from the us and this one was shocking. In the US alone, the amount of money generated by porn every year exceeds the combined revenue of the NFL, the NBA and Major League baseball combined.
Those are staggering statistics, which highlights that we have an epidemic in our country. And these are the, the general sort of statistics. And Rob is gonna come up here in a moment and we're gonna talk [00:04:00] about how it's affecting the church. When I googled the whole theme, protecting the eyes, I Googled, protect the eyes, and I came across some different, uh, danger signs that they put in factories where safety goggles are required to operate heavy machinery.
And as I thought about how we're facing this problem in our country, it seems like we need to wear eye protection when we operate these machines because of how pervasive the pornography issue is in our country.
And I think that this picture, as I Google Safety glasses, is probably an accurate representation of what men's ministry in the church of Jesus Christ is today
staggering.
And we wanna be proactive at Southgate. Because we know that it's affected the [00:05:00] church of Jesus Christ in America, and we know that it's affected our church, and we would be foolish to think that it's not still affecting our church. And so what we want to do today is we want to give some tools. We wanna give some hope because there is hope for this problem and we want to.
Offer an invitation to anyone who might be struggling with it or might be affected by it to get some intentional strategic help to move you forward in your pursuit of Jesus Christ. And so the elders and the deacons are gonna come down the aisles are now, and they're gonna hand you these cards and at the end of the service, you can fill this out during the interview and during the time of the service.
We'll give some time at the end of the service to kind of fill this out, but we want everybody to fill out a card. And we want you to, it's anonymous. Nobody's going to be looking over your shoulder while you do this, but we want [00:06:00] to get a gauge for where our church is at as it relates to this issue, and to create an opportunity for help to be provided.
And so as you look at the card, the first question at the top of the card is we want you to check the box if this applies to you. I've never struggled with pornography. Praise to the Lord. Maybe you've struggled with it in the past. Oh yeah. And there's pencils on the back, and if you need a pencil, the elders and the deacons have pencils as well.
We wanna make sure that everybody has a writing utensil. The second box is, I've struggled with it in the past, but by God's grace, I'm currently experiencing victory over it. I'm currently struggling with pornography or a related issue. I know I need help. I am ready to get the help I need. And then two questions at the bottom, or one question rather.
How pervasive do you think the problem is at Southgate? And if you acknowledge that [00:07:00] you are currently struggling with it and you need some help, we want you to give us a contact number. You don't have to write your name. You can put a cell phone number, telephone number, or an email address, and we will reach out to you and set up a time to get together to help.
So. You can be thinking about this as we move through the service this morning. We'll give you an opportunity. At the end of the service, the elders and the deacons are gonna come back in and they're gonna hand a manila envelope down the aisle so that you can protect your anonymity, fold your sheet in half, and then stick it in the, the envelope.
They will seal the envelopes in the foyer. And then this week, uh, only the pastoral staff will have access to these cards. And then we will reach out and make contact with those who. Would be willing to acknowledge that you need some help. I share all of that at the front end because we want that to be what we do on the back end of this today.
And I want you to be thinking about it. And I want you to know [00:08:00] that at the Pastor Elder in Deacon Retreat this weekend, all of the pastor elders in the deacons filled one of these cards out too. So we're not asking you to do anything that the leadership is not prepared to do. We love our people. Yeah.
Thank you. Yeah. Gotcha. We love our people and we wanna see you grow in Christlikeness. The first thing that I want you to do before we carry on though, on your sheet, just so that we can tell, because primarily we're gonna talk about this with Rob, primarily, it's been a, a male problem in the past, but more and more females are struggling with this issue too.
So if you could just help us out right now on your card. If you are a male, put an M in the top right corner of your card, and if you're a female, put an F in the top right corner of your card because we want to connect women with women and men with men as we try to address the help.[00:09:00]
After having said all of that, how you doing? This morning, I'm gonna introduce to you Rob Jackson. He's a counselor with Christian, uh, counseling network. Uh, he is a, a wonderful man of God and he did a great job with our elders and deacons this weekend. He's got 30 years of counseling experience. He has, uh, written some articles that have been published in books that were published by Focus on the Family.
He's been on James Dobson's Focus on the Family and Family Talk Radio. He writes a, a blog, you know, regularly and, uh. He's a great guy and I've enjoyed getting to know him. Uh, those are the books that he's made some contributions to. And so I first got in contact with him. Uh, a friend of mine had actually gone out to him for some counseling, and when I shared with my friend some of the [00:10:00] things that we wanted to kind of do to help our church, uh, he put me in contact with him, uh, a couple of years ago.
And Rob and I have worked together, uh, with an, uh, a few families, uh, in helping them to move forward with this particular issue. It's not an issue that's being addressed by a lot of churches today. It's not a, a comfortable or a fun subject to deal with, but we gotta deal with it because it's here. So would you guys please?
Welcome to the platform today. Uh, Rob Jackson.
Rob: Thank you.
Pastor: So, Rob, why don't we, before we dive into the questions, why don't you just tell us a little bit more about yourself and your experience and your history and how the Lord has brought you to, to this particular ministry that you're doing?
Rob: I'd be happy to. I have to tell you, it's really a strange thing for me to be in this ministry.
I was raised in a very conservative family, [00:11:00] somewhat naive myself, and we didn't even say the word pregnant. So surely God has a sense of humor to have me in this work today. And even though I talk in this, this way, uh, daily with clients, I appreciate that it's a challenge for, for you and for me as well.
Uh, Renee and I have been married 29 years. We have two children. Our son, Robert, is almost 22 in preparing for the ministry. Our daughter Mary is almost 19, and she's in her first year of college, and God has brought us through some remarkable experiences and we've seen grace operate over and over again.
And so I come to you today, so grateful for who Jesus Christ is,
Pastor: amen.
Rob: And for how life and the Spirit makes this life worth living. Frankly, I don't know how non-Christians do it. I cannot imagine, because as [00:12:00] I work with clients from now about 46 or 47 states, all professing Christians, I am seeing more and more and more carnage than I saw when I began 30 years ago.
You know, Bobby Couples used to come to me and the big argument was how much time the husband was on the television or maybe the content on the television. Can you see where we are today? We're arguing about iPads and laptops and smart phones and all kinds of things. So, um, I'll just wrap up the intro this way.
People ask me how I got into this work and I tell them I was minding my own business. I assure you this was not anywhere on the radar screen of my life. I was doing marriage and family counseling in Tupelo, Mississippi and was attending to specialize towards. Anxiety and depression because I've struggled with that Myself and American Family Association called and [00:13:00] said, we're developing a workshop for men.
We understand Christian men are struggling with indecency on television. It's about 1994. The internet was still brand new, and so I began to work with that ministry, became the director of men's Ministries there, and just saw people from all over the country who were struggling. And then after developing the men's ministry.
Other colleagues developed a women's ministry and then a couples. And so since 2000 I've been in, uh, private practice providing basically what's called brief intensive is sort of like a outpatient stay where you get 20 hours of therapy in one week trying to get to the root of the problem, which is the human heart.
Pastor: Hmm. Good. Well, I'm gonna dive in with the first question. We showed some statistics that talk about the pervasiveness of pornography in our country and in in the world. How common is pornography among Christians?
Rob: You know, just a year or two [00:14:00] ago, the Barna Institute ran a survey and they said that in the last 30 days, two thirds of men at church have been viewing pornography.
Pastor: Two thirds.
Rob: Two thirds, and then out of pastors, maybe one out of two. And so we see time and time again. Our statistics as a church on any behavioral issue hardly varies from the world.
Pastor: Hmm.
Rob: And then for women, and this is not specific to Christians, but we, we've known for some time that one out of five women struggle with pornography as well.
And when we get to the ages of 18 and under, which represent about a third of my clients, I really can't find good statistics.
Pastor: Hmm.
Rob: But I believe that it's impacting male and female alike, at least, um, more than the majority.
Pastor: Hmm. And obviously there's a lot of debate in both the secular and the Christian world about the [00:15:00] effects of pornography and the, even the pervasiveness of it.
But what's, what are some of the biggest misconceptions that people have about pornography and the addiction to it?
Rob: Yeah. Well, one is it is they think it's all about sex. But it really isn't. It's more about a, an internal intimacy disorder, a failure to attach and bond to people and to things that are wholesome.
So we think about a failure to attach vertically to God and to enjoy him more than all other things. And then we think about the difficulty we have attaching to each other to form healthy and functional relationships. And so people wind up. Attaching to other things that are false and toxic, whether it's pornography or alcohol or gambling.
Another misconception is you really don't get addicted to pornography anymore than a heroin addict gets addicted to the syringe or needle. The pornography is just a delivery system. You get addicted to the neurochemistry in your brain. Within the sexual [00:16:00] response, there's six to eight neurotransmitters that are being mixed like a cocktail, and once your brain consumes it.
Well Inebriation happens. Mm-hmm.
Pastor: So how do you use that when you're counseling families, especially women whose husbands may be involved in pornography? Um, because you just said it's not about the sex.
Rob: Right.
Pastor: So how do you counsel the women? Because that's one of the first responses that women have. I'm inadequate, you know, he doesn't like me.
He doesn't think I'm attractive. How do you use that to counsel the ladies who are struggling with husbands?
Rob: It's so true. I mean, women do feel like, well, it must be something wrong with me. And most of the time, nine out of 10 husbands will say, I believe with conviction, no matter how bad the pornography, this is not about my wife.
Most Christian men who struggle are not shifting the blame to their wives. Many we'll talk about how even in the private moments of intimacy, [00:17:00] they're very satisfied with their wives. Nevertheless, the wife feels like. Still, there's something wrong with me. Hmm. And so we have to talk about, well, typically your husband or your spouse found pornography long before he or she ever met you.
Hmm. And once those seeds were planted and watered over a number of days, weeks, months, and years, addiction was there even if the husband, uh, future husband didn't realize it. So it predates the marriage.
Pastor: So sometimes you'll hear people say, you know that pornography's a victimless sin because, you know, maybe it's better than premarital sex or maybe it's better than, than having a physical affair.
How do you respond to those kind of statements where it's a victimless sin?
Rob: Well, we have to know it's about supply and demand. Were there no demand for this? There would be no supply.
Pastor: Mm-hmm.
Rob: And so we have men, women, and children. [00:18:00] Who are modeling themselves in pornography, giving themselves in toxic relationships for carnal pleasures.
And we have so many in that industry who will say, I was always using alcohol or drugs before or during a a, a filming shoot. We have so many who say, you know, I, I ran away from home, or I was. Running from home and I was sexually abused even more once I got out on the streets and pornography and the sexually oriented businesses I found myself in, were just trying to give me a means of survival.
So truly there are victims and in terms of, of someone thinking, well, it's better to do pornography than to have an affair. I would remind you that, you know. Uh, some people have had one or two affairs, and I don't minimize that. Others have had dozens. [00:19:00] Nevertheless, you can have hundreds of images from internet pornography that are far more toxic and deviant than you would ever have in a dozen affairs, and so the brain is taking in something far more deceptive with internet pornography.
Then perhaps a human to human contact.
Pastor: Mm-hmm. So what, with all the stuff you're talking about, with what it does to the brain and, and, and the, I forget the word that you used, the neuro transmitters.
Rob: Neuro transmitters,
Pastor: um, what makes recovery so complicated? I mean, how difficult is it to replace the bad behavior with the good behavior?
Rob: Yeah. All the time I find Christians trying to simply replace bad with better. And so, you know, I won't look at pornography. I'll do whatever. For example, men you've heard about bouncing your eyes from a very popular book. Well, I'll just bounce my eyes away from [00:20:00] whatever has has triggered me to lost. But you see, behaviorism doesn't deal with the heart.
Behaviorism doesn't require a dependency on Jesus Christ for reconciliation and redemption, and it doesn't require a dependency on the Holy Spirit. And if I could leave with one primary message today, it would be that Christians who deny the Holy Spirit are not going to overcome pornography or any other sin.
And so clearly we've gotta move past moralism and come to a brokenness where we're dependent on the spirit of God.
Pastor: So how's your approach to recovery different from other. Like the 12 Steps program? Yeah. What do you offer?
Rob: I try to really focus on the creative design that God has given us we're spirit, mind, and body created in His image.
We have our own trinity of sorts, and so there is a [00:21:00] tremendous need for us to get the foundation of the human spirit anchored in Christ and walking by the spirit, but then with that being our faith, there are works. Faith without works is what? It's dead. And so, so many times, Christians, however well-meaning are just doing the work of faith, but they're not going on to do the work of psychology and behaviorism.
And so there's things that I'm trying to help people to do in the Spirit, mind and body columns, if you will. Now with the 12 Step program, you know, they do many things well, and we could take a few of their plays from their playbook and improve what we're doing in our own recovery ministries. But now they've moved away from God, the Father, son, and Holy Spirit almost in all cases.
And so it's God as we know him well, there's a problem, number two. So many times when our churches were not reaching out to the alcoholics, they went into aa, [00:22:00] but we're seeing the same thing happen with sexual addicts. Many of our churches, maybe less than 10%, are actually reaching out. The men and women in trouble.
So they're leaving and going to secular groups.
Jeff: Mm-hmm.
Rob: And those groups are almost becoming like a church or a spiritual body. And then if it's AA or something else, there's a big book or a different book rather than the word of God. And so there's a huge difference and what a Christian counselor hopes to offer as opposed to a spiritual group.
Pastor: For many Christians who struggle with it, you know, the, the scenario goes like this. They, they view it, they feel guilty, they confess, they repent, they view it, they feel guilty, they rep confess, they repent. Um, what else can be done after somebody's repented and prayed over and over again?
Rob: Yeah, it's helpful to stop the rents repeat cycle.
And so yeah, it would be so important for a Christian [00:23:00] who is repented and prayed, but still struggling. To say, Hey, I am in trouble. There is no substitute for a confession and transparency, and I am so encouraged that you guys at South Gator building infrastructures and systems and so on out of love and nurture so that anyone who's in trouble could say, I, I need help.
This is not something you're supposed to be able to do by yourself, even as a Christian with faith in the spirit. This is not something you're supposed to do by yourself, so ask for help. And then I would also mention if the cumulative sin has become an addiction, then get therapy. Not everyone who's looked at pornography is an addict.
Therefore, not everyone needs therapy. But if you feel like it's now a, a compulsive addiction that has banned years, treat that like the illness that it is. It's a sin sickness. It requires, uh, a comprehensive [00:24:00] approach.
Pastor: Mm. So how realistic then, is, uh, freedom from this a addiction or from this pattern of behavior?
Rob: Yeah, it's very real that people can find freedom. I have a, a client couple I'm thinking of. He himself was a pastor in, sadly, in grave trouble. And, uh. At his age decided to retire rather than to continue in ministry. His church released him, in fact, but after an intervention, after a number of things, uh, I believe that he has walked in Freedom for eight years now and I'll add with his wife and with REST restoration toward the family.
Another couple. It's the wife who's had the affairs, not the husband, it's the wife who's been in online chat rooms. They've been in freedom for about seven years. Hmm. And so it is definitely possible, but these two couples have been so willing to do [00:25:00] more than the average. Hmm. This is not something you just try to do.
You train to recover.
Pastor: Hmm. What are your thoughts? I mean, sometimes, you know, in Christian circles when we talk about this, we look at different verses that talk about, you know, sexual immorality and the reality that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Mm-hmm. Um, what do you think about salvation and its relationship to pornography?
Can a person truly be saved and addicted?
Rob: Yeah. I believe it's possible to be saved and addicted. I think that it's possible for a Christian to have a besetting sin looking at the rest of his or her life. There's fruit, fruit of Jesus Christ, fruit of the spirit, but yet there's this one thing that's sort of like termites is eating away at the foundation.
But I am very concerned for some who say I'm a [00:26:00] Christian and I have pride in my sin. Anyone who has pride in sin and claims the name of Christ, I think is sadly confused.
Pastor: Just looking at the time and looking at, uh, at what we're trying to accomplish this morning. I'm gonna skip a couple of our questions here, but, uh, what's your take on the men's accountability movement?
Uh, how successful is an accountability partner?
Rob: Yeah, man, I have to tell you, I think the accountability movement has largely failed. I want you to understand we have more men's things, just like Christians in general. You know, we have more radio stations, television shows, bumper stickers, t-shirts, books, coffee mugs, more than people have ever had in any other time.
And yet our lifestyles are not bearing the fruit of Jesus Christ. And so I'm concerned that men have been taught. If you just get another man to hold you accountable, you're fine. I'm thinking we're accountable to the Holy Spirit. [00:27:00] No other man can indwell and empower and convict and convince and draw, and so that there is a place for confessing our sins one to another.
Pastor: Mm-hmm.
Rob: But let's keep the accountability to the spirit primary and the accountability between us secondary and we'll be better off.
Pastor: Mm-hmm. What can parents do if they suspect that their children are viewing porn?
Rob: Yeah. The first thing is don't react, pray to respond.
Pastor: Mm-hmm.
Rob: And so take the time to gather whatever information you may have found through internet histories and things of that sort.
Try to get on the same page with each other. A lot of times parents get very divided. One is gonna be more protective of the child and one's gonna be more rigid and militant Work together. Uh, perhaps go get some, some help for yourselves initially. Talking to a pastor and a [00:28:00] therapist, and then based on what's happened, go ahead and look into therapy because children and youth have brains that are more, uh, pliable, more plastic, if you will, and are more adaptable.
And so addictions can actually start earlier and be acquired faster. And don't think that, you know, like the old Buick commercial, this is not your father's Oldsmobile or whatever the commercial was. This pornography today is not your father's pornography. And so what kids are getting into on a smartphone is so much more toxic and damaging and it does it in such a quicker way.
Pastor: Talk about that a little bit. Uh, the sexting, yeah. That's going on among young people.
Rob: You know, sexting is taking images and or, uh, words and flirting between two cell phones, and you need to know that in many states. When you take a picture of [00:29:00] yourself and you're under 18, that's considered production of child pornography.
You need to know that when you send that to your boyfriend or your girlfriend, that's considered distribution of child pornography, and when the person on the other end clicks and receives considered possession, there can be three felonies for minors who participate in sexting on the phone. And in those states where it's not considered felonies are still sometimes federal concerns.
And even though law enforcement generally talks about we're not looking to go after kids, we're wanting the major distributors, uh, it's still a very significant challenge, especially if the child, your child is sexting with as parents who want to file charges. So sexting is a huge problem. It's a new way of flirting.
And it's very quick. It's very impulsive, and [00:30:00] then these images get out. They're traded like baseball cards. Some of it gets into revenge porn, or there's a breakup and a boyfriend uploads the images or there's a divorce and a husband uploads the images and then it's out there.
Pastor: Last question 'cause I wanna give you a couple of minutes to talk to us about sanctification in, in Romans. Yeah. Um, and just looking at our time, but
Rob: Sure.
Pastor: Um, obviously we have, we have a, a, a mixed audience of ages, uh, and stages of life and even marital status. What, what's some advice that you can give to single people who are struggling with pornography?
Rob: Know that being single is not second class. We're gonna have to make sure that. Being single and celibate is as honorable as being married and faithful, and as people are waiting to marry to their mid twenties, there will be struggles for sure. And so make sure that you are in the [00:31:00] word. You are living life in the spirit.
You are in a community. Guard yourself from people who would tear you down with their images or their comments. If you come from a family where there's been pornography or there's been adultery, know that even though that's not your sin, you may be more vulnerable. So prepare accordingly.
Pastor: Well, we wanna prepare as a church and uh, that's why we're focusing on this this weekend.
That's why our elders and our deacons over the retreat spent some time talking about it. Rob spent five hours with us explaining his model of recovery to give some tools to our leadership team so that we can effectively help. Uh, those in our congregation and to even recognize that, uh, that probably the majority of us in our church were not immune to it.
I mean, I'm not immune to it. I mean, I was exposed to pornography as a, as a kid, as a teenager. Um, I've had struggles with it, [00:32:00] uh, even when I was in ministry. And so it's a common and pervasive problem, but it doesn't have to define us. We're not defined by sin, we're defined by our relationship with Christ.
Rob: That's right.
Pastor: And the salvation that he provides and the Holy Spirit that he gives to us. And Rob's gonna talk and share a couple of ideas about the Holy Spirit within us to fight and to beat this pervasive problem.
Rob: Amen. So now I get to talk about the stuff that brings me joy. Pornography, sex addiction therapy?
Not so much. I'm happy to do it, thank God for what he's given me. But, um, if there was one thing I could talk about anywhere, anytime, it would be the friendship that is ours in the Holy Spirit. You know, when I was coming up with a boy in the deep South with Christian [00:33:00] parents going to a church. Um, we talked about God the Father, God the Son, but not God.
The Holy Spirit. One man recently said on our teleconference, or yeah, tele class that I do every Tuesday night. He said, you know, I was familiar with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Word. And so, so many times, moralism has replaced life in Christ by the Spirit. Well, we're gonna look at Romans seven and eight really quickly.
In light of our time, but I want to just say that as we get there into the scriptures, lust comes in many forms. You know, some people lust for position and influence others for excitement and fun fixes. And the next adrenaline high, and yet lust runs high today for sexual pleasures. Lust is there for the young and the old, the male and the female, the married and the single.[00:34:00]
And I would add, fueled by the marriage of media and technology, mankind continues to invent new ways to sin. You know, this cell phone is incredible. It is a power like no generation has ever known, and so we're gonna have to be very careful. I want you to keep in mind too, practically that we have five senses.
Sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. These are the beachhead for a war that will not end until these bodies expire, or the Lord's returns so much of the time. We're trying to find pleasure in our senses rather than peace with God. Meanwhile, Christ is our redeemer. And the Holy Spirit is in us to help us find sanctification.
So we've gotta learn to fight this war with courage and conviction and confidence. Now, Romans [00:35:00] seven 15, interestingly, when a man calls, sometimes he will say, I'm struggling with pornography, and I don't know exactly where that verse is, but somebody in the Bible says, I don't understand why I keep on doing what I don't wanna do.
I don't understand my own behavior, so let's look at that very quickly in seven 15 for I do not understand my own actions for, I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing. I hate church. I believe that Paul is sharing his Christian testimony. I don't think he's referring to when he was Saul. I think really Romans seven is what he was talking about after that dramatic conversion.
See, we don't know much about Paul for about three years later. He writes more than half a New Testament, but frankly, I think that in those first few years he grappled with what it meant to mature like you and I have to. There is no conversion that will be a substitute [00:36:00] for sanctification, not even Paul's dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus.
So he is saying, I don't understand my own actions. You know, I can identify with Paul. I do things I don't understand. So let me ask you, what is it you're doing that troubles you? It might not be pornography or something sexual, but it's still some other sin that limits you in Christ. What is it you're doing that troubles your spouse?
What is it you're doing that troubles your parents and most in all, most importantly of all, what is it you're doing that grieves the Holy Spirit? This is so much more important than grieving each other. You know, it's, it's one thing for a, a Christian to sin. It is another for him to hate it. [00:37:00] Do you hate?
The secret sins in your life, or are you trying to nurture those and preserve those? Well, let's look also at Romans 7 21. He says, so I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. Let me tell you, it's not that. It's like this cell phone is close to my hand and this is the problem.
The problem is in here. Now, if we can't manage this, maybe we need to get a dumb phone instead of a smartphone, but let's be real. It's not the external that's the problem. It's the internal. So many Christians are living beneath their potential in Christ, and I see it from all over the country. It's not a regional thing, it's not an educational thing.
It's not an economics. [00:38:00] It is an Evangelical Christian cultural thing, and I will submit to you, if you continue to keep your secret sins, you'll wind up questioning. If you know Christ at all, there will be a spiritual crisis. Now let's look at chapter seven, verse 25. After this, Paul says, so then I myself serve the law of God with my mind.
But with my flesh, I serve the law of sin. I'm almost shocked by how casual this sounds. So, so after all of this, I serve the law of God with my mind, but I serve the law of, you know, sin with my flesh. It sounds like a spiritual schizophrenia. Paul. Come on. Is this the best you've got? And of course, chapter seven comes to an end.
And if that were the end of this brief devotional. We might all [00:39:00] leave kind of discouraged. So let's rush to read Romans eight one. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Oh, you've gotta live in this. You've gotta breathe this in. You gotta know this is true. Satan will lie to you.
Uh, family and friends will discourage you, but make sure you understand if you're in Christ, you will not be condemned in this life nor the next. And make sure you know the difference between conviction of the Holy Spirit verses condemnation that comes from the enemy, our flesh, and even sometimes the church culture.
It's a sad thing that, you know, we are known for. Shooting or wounded. And I assure you, as I've gotten to know your pastor and your pastor, [00:40:00] elders, your deacons, that is not the spirit of what's going on this weekend. No one is looking to catch you. No one is looking to punish you and shame you and belittle you.
There is an invitation to come forward and to receive help. Well, we're gonna end with a verse in Romans eight. Eight 13, about five years ago, I read a book that's changed my life. Second to the scripture is still the most important book in my life. I doubt that it's gonna change anytime soon. It's a book called The Mortification of Sin, written by a Puritan 500 years ago by the name of John Owen, thankfully abridged by a pastor in California so that I can read it.
The original is really like a phone book. And it's very difficult with old English. He wrote his entire book based on Romans eight 13. The second part of the verse, if by the [00:41:00] Spirit you put to death the deeds of your body, you will live. If by the spirit you put to death the deeds of your body, you will live.
Let me misquote the verse. For emphasis if by good intentions,
if by going to therapy,
if by coming to church every Sunday,
if by joining a men's group, if by having an internet filter. Folks, if we put anything else in that equation other than the Holy Spirit. We delude ourselves. We live a lie and we will fail. But the reverse is true. If by the spirit you put to death the deeds of your [00:42:00] body, you succeed and you will live. I pray that's your experience.
Thank you, pastor.
Pastor: Thank you, Rob.
The moment of truth,
it's a huge problem and it's not going to go away anytime soon.
One of the discussions that Rob and I had over the course of the weekend, uh, related to technology and, and even some of the things that are being developed in Asia. Specifically for the sex industry is that pornography has driven a lot of the technological advances that we have because it helps disseminate that junk more easily.
[00:43:00] So it's not gonna go away anytime soon. But as Rob's shared, you know, earlier, it's a supply and demand business. If there's no demand for it, there won't be a supply. And the only way that we can reduce the demand is to pray that the spirit of God would grab a hold of our hearts as men and as women, and that we would be transformed by the gospel.
We don't want Satan to get the victory. Last week, Mike Barnett preached a message on spiritual warfare. And in the community group discussions last week, one of the comments that, uh, we posted in the, the questions is the reality that most Christians in their engagement with spiritual warfare are never gonna come face to face with a demonic possession situation like Hollywood.
In the movies portray in this glamor, [00:44:00] glamorization of spiritual warfare, most Christians aren't going to ever experience that. But this issue that we're facing right now as a church. That is spiritual warfare, and the enemy seems to be winning,
but he's defeated. He's defeated. And so what we have to do as believers is appropriate what Rob's talking about with the spirit of God dwelling within us because Satan. He's lost. The war is over. He, we know how it ends, but he's engaged in gorilla warfare between now and the, that final battle, and he's taken as many people down as he can.
And as a church, we're saying no.[00:45:00]
As men we're saying no.
By the power of Christ and by the presence of his Holy Spirit. We're saying no, and we want you to be a part of that. So please be honest on this form and respond so that we can come alongside of you and help you. One of our team building activities this weekend was an activity where we took marshmallows and spaghetti and we tried to build a tower with a marshmallow on top.
And the whole focus of the activity is the assumptions that we make in ministry. What are, what are the hidden assumptions and, and what we do. And we used it as a metaphor to say that we're trying to build structures at Southgate to keep the marshmallow on top. To keep our people supported and encouraged and on top.
[00:46:00] Everything that we're doing is designed to support you as you follow after Jesus, and we realize that we have more support structures that we need to create so that we can beat this thing.
Jeff's gonna play a a little bit of music. The elders in the deacons are gonna come and pass the envelopes down the aisle. Please fold your, uh, answer it. Honestly, if you haven't finished it yet, please take a moment to do that, fold it in half, stick it in the envelope, and if you need help, please indicate and we're gonna help you.
And while they're coming and doing that, I wanna invite all of you to be praying right now. Just bow your heads and close your eyes and just pray and ask for the spirit of God to move and work in a powerful way at Southgate.[00:47:00] [00:48:00]
Jeff: I
confess.
I find my, and without you, how far you're the one that guides. Heart.
Lord, I need you. I need you every heart. You my one defense, my right.[00:49:00]
Need.
Grace is for grace.
Where you're, where you,
Lord.
I need.[00:50:00]
So teach my song to rise to
when temptation comes my way. When I.
When I cannot stand.[00:51:00]
Lord I.
I need you.
I.[00:52:00]
Defense, my righteousness. Hope
Pastor: consecrate ourselves to you and we give ourselves to you this morning. We pray that your spirit would be alive and at work. We pray that where sin did abound, that grace will much more abound. Yes, we pray that our lives would be healed. We pray that our marriages would be strong and restored. We pray that we would lead our children well and we pray that we would exalt the name of Jesus.
And if there's anybody who is in our [00:53:00] congregation this morning or watching by the internet that doesn't know Jesus, I pray that you would open their eyes to the gospel. Father, change this church, transform us so that we become more like Jesus. Let us be a place where it is safe for people to share their struggles.
And people don't get freaked out when they hear somebody else sharing about sin. Because without the gospel, we would all be in hell right now. There is, therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Lord, help us to live that and experience that and as we do that, help us to point people to you and we'll give you thanks for that.
In Jesus name, amen. Our business meeting will start in about 10 minutes, and if you need to talk to somebody about what's been going on, please do that very [00:54:00] quickly.
Jeff: Signed, sealed to you.
Pastor: Thank you.
